Worship…that word means different things to different people.
Ole Mr. Webster says that “Worship is the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity”.
And yes, I would agree worship can be an outward expression of our love for the Father. It should come to that! But the question lies…What do you personally consider worship?
I remember as a child watching a lady in our church raise her hands every time a certain song was played and she would just bawl. At that time, I was afraid of her (I was 4) she was different. (Granted she pinched my cheeks every time I got close, which could have been the reason for my fear). But it was an odd thing for me to see for some reason. In an entire church of “Christians” there was this one lady who would go all kinds of crazy at random moments. The truth I would grow to understand….she had a heart and desire to experience God in her own way, with no worries of another thinking she was insane. The rest of us could have used a bit of that reverence and accountability.
Over the past few months, I have been experiencing a “shift” in my walk with the Father. And in a wonderful way. It’s no secret that I deal with medical issues and a new diagnosis caught me off guard. But in it all I felt peace, His presence, and I had overwhelming Joy! God was allowing me to have another opportunity to Praise and Worship Him through another struggle. You see, the struggle is only a tiny portion of the story (His Story). He ordained my days and allowed this not for my destruction but for His glory. I knew I was to make sure that he received what I was called to give.
Sometimes, I think we as Christians ignore our calling. While everyone has a different plan, we have the same purpose. We are called to serve, share, and glorify God for who He is.
While facing another little giant in my life I began to feel more conviction regarding what I allowed or ignored. When I truly sought Him, He gave me the clarity to see Him. (Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you-James 4:8).
I would get what I call “spirit checks” (discernment) more often in situations I might not have seen before. I began to funnel my actions/words more carefully knowing that I had failed miserably to do so lately. I asked God to provide me with a genuine heart of worship.
It didn’t come immediately. I had to allow the hardened build up to be broken away. Feelings of resentment, frustration, and plain anger had seeped into the cracks and filled the void where my praise should have been. It is so easy to allow this to happen. It’s a very slow fade!
As a member of our praise team I am fully aware that how I worship can affect those around me and I wanted to ensure I was genuine and not just being routine. Its sometimes easy to focus on the physical v/s the spiritual when you sing. In my case, sometimes my injuries make themselves known or the technical aspects of performing can be pushed in the forefront of my mind. To ensure that I didn’t allow the “stuff” to cloud my view of The Father, I begin my time in prayer. From the time I arrive, to the moment we step off the stage for the day, I am in constant conversation w/the Father.
I don’t share this to say, “Look at me and what a good Christian I am”. I share this because I am a broken child of the King who needs correction on a daily basis!
I drag the weekly junk into church wit me on Sunday morning just like everyone else! We are all hit with difficulties (work, finances, health, and other people). It tears us down and we bring what’s left of us to church. In my case that’s not a lot left to give!
I understood that my personal temperament (one who is a straight shooter/calls it like she sees it) would need to have a clean slate before I stood and sang. I would need to ensure that my focus wasn’t on the ones around me, the music, the struggles or even the people in front of me. That it was on the ONE who blessed me with the ability to sing. So…I pray. I pray that God would remove any ounce of “self” I have left in me, that he would remove my focus on the physical struggles and point me to Him. Since I began to do this I have experienced Him in a way I can’t describe. Worship became more personal than ever before and it was genuine and ALL for Him.
You may not always see my hands being raised (sometimes physically its difficult). While that is our typical expectation of outward praise, our inward approach to worship matters the most! When my heart is truly on the One who created me to serve, worship is being given! When your heart is completely engulfed in His presence something begins to change. Your outward expressions clearly show your intent. You begin to stand alone in His presence (no matter how many others are around).
You can worship in your mundane moments, your ugly moments and those of despair. Your heart can be healed in the most difficult of situations. You were bought for a price and are priceless in his sight! How awesome to know that we have such worth!
If you are finding yourself dragging the “junk” of the week/world around with you and feel that despair is the only form of emotion you can bring to the surface take heart in knowing that God is already fighting your battles. He’s already ahead of your situation. He’s aware and in control.
Casting Crowns perform a song called “Oh my Soul”. Its lyrics speak so clearly when times seem rough and worship seems impossible…
Oh, my soul
Oh, how you worry
Oh, how you're weary, from fearing you lost control
This was the one thing, you didn't see coming
And no one would blame you, though
If you cried in private
If you tried to hide it away, so no one knows
No one will see, if you stop believing
Oh, my soul
You are not alone
There's a place where fear has to face the God you know
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
'Cause you're not alone
Here and now
You can be honest
I won't try to promise that someday it all works out
'Cause this is the valley
And even now, He is breathing on your dry bones
And there will be dancing
There will be beauty where beauty was ash and stone
This much I know
Oh, my soul
You are not alone
There's a place where fear has to face the God you know
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
I'm not strong enough, I can't take anymore
(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)
And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore
(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)
Can He find me here
Can He keep me from going under
My sweet brother’s and sister’s in Christ. If you take anything away from today’s blog know that You are not alone. You are loved and created for a purpose. One that requires genuine and personal worship. Take today's struggle and give Him the glory! I will be right alongside of you doing the same.
Jessica
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