Unfortunately, in many areas of my life, I struggle with being in a hurry. I hurry to get ready in the morning. I hurry to work or encourage Sam to drive a bit faster to get us there. (We ride to work together most of the time.) Then when I arrive to work, I hurry to get the day rolling and quickly get our first patient back so that neither our doctors nor our patients have to wait for very long. After my job is completed, we rush to get home and figure out what we are going to eat for supper, and then work on some housework/yard work. By the time these things are finished, sometimes I am so tired I just want to plop down in front of the television with my jammies on and just vegetate for a while.
At times, there are moments when I hear the Holy Spirit speak to my heart and say, “You haven’t spent any quiet time with me today.” Periodically, I will stop what I am doing right then and do my quiet time. On other occasions I will sense the Holy Spirit prodding me and somehow I will get distracted with something else. It seems like a million other things will come to mind that need to be done. Or when I pick up my Bible, my cat, Fuzzy who always prefers to sit on Sam, will decide to be extremely affectionate with me. She will jump up in my lap, and even climb on my Bible! I truly believe Satan uses that cat to try to steer me away from reading the Bible sometimes😄. Then when I begin reading, I often get extremely heavy eyelids and doze off to sleep. When I wake up, I realize that it is time for bed. Another day comes and the cycle starts all over again. Our lives are fairly routine. But I want time with the LORD to be anything but routine. I want to experience His glory, worship Him in spirit and in truth and be ever aware of His presence. I want to stop being sucked into wasting time on useless things when I could be spending time with the King: King Jesus.
A few nights ago, Sam was playing basketball at church, and I experienced the presence of the Lord so strongly. I had fixed some grilled chicken and quietly began to eat at the table. I looked out the back door to see the most beautiful pink tinged clouds hovering in the big sky. Sunsets are one of my favorite things, so I grabbed my phone and went out the front door to capture a glimpse of the incredible beauty. I
wasn’t finished with supper, so I took my plate out and sat in the driveway facing the breathtaking pink and gold sky. As I sat there, I became overwhelmed with the beauty of God’s creation. I was in awe that the same God who made the shimmering sky and all of creation loves me, yes me, Carly Blevins in spite of all my failures. He knows everything about me—every tear I’ve cried, even the number of hairs on my head. He knew me before I was born, He knew when I would become His child, and He has all of my days written in His book. He knows when I will breathe my last and go to be with Him forever. I don’t long to die necessarily, but sitting there I just longed to be with Jesus and to see Him face to face. The presence of God was so immense…my eyes welled up in joyful tears. The words of a Kari Jobe song rang out so true “…when You walk in the room there’s nothing like it.”
There really isn’t anything like it. Do I experience this kind of thing every day? No, but when I do, it starts a fire in my soul and I just want more of Him. I want to live my life in complete abandon of the things of this world and seek Jesus with my entire being. I want to hang on His Word and time in prayer like my life depends on it; and truthfully, abundant life in Christ does depend on it. I want my life to be emptied of selfish gain and poured out into serving others and seeing souls come to know Jesus!
Lord, please help me learn to be still, to slow down enough to see you and hear from you each day. Even in my busyness, help me to always remember to put You first and be still and know that You are my God.
I will close with the lyrics to a favorite older song of mine called “Still” by Watermark. Watermark was made up of a husband and wife duo, Nathan and Christy Nockels. They have officially ended days as Watermark, but are still a strong married couple. Nathan is a songwriter and producer, and Christy is a songwriter and worship leader. These words speak to my heart:
The more I get alone
The more I see I need to get alone more
'Cause just when I think that I’m alone
Your Spirit calls out to me
And even silence has a song
And that’s when You come singing over me
Let me be still
Let me be ok with the quiet in my heart
Oh, still, I want to be still
I’m so quick to move, instead of listening to You
Shut my mouth, crush my pride
Give me the tears of a broken life
In Christ’s Love,